Potentially TMI (installment 3 of 4)

The final 25! Here are #'s 76-100 (1-25 are here, 26-50 are here, 51-75)

1. …lived for 17 years in ‘the big city’.


2. …now live 2 hours from the nearest ‘big city’.


3. …need to take better care of myself.


4. …am married to a man whose skills far out-strip MacGuyver’s.


5. …still am compelled to stand over his shoulder and tell him how to fix things.


6. …dined on pasta and wine whilst perched in the lap of a Mafia boss.


7. …found love only after I wrote it off as bad business.


8. …am a voracious reader. Classics, pulp, cereal boxes—whatever I can get.


9. …briefly flirted with blackout drinking in my twenties.


10. …still cannot find a single redeeming moment in my experience with early education.


11. …dined on peanut butter in jars for 9 weeks after my business was robbed.


12. …once set fire to an unfaithful lover’s sheets and threw them from the window to the alley below.


13. …know how to make my point.


14. …am more particular these days about which points really need to be made.


15. …refused to enroll in college out of high school.


16. …told my family to "go ahead" and transfer a trust fund to my sister. They did.


17. …am a backseat driver.


18. …dined on stale bread and cheese with a monk during lamb season in the French Alps.


19. …am a complete and total slob.


20. … am a flibberdegibbet.


21. …delight in that experience of the explosive, surprised laugh—getting it and giving it.


22. …am nicknamed ‘Wrong Way Corrigan’ for my terrible sense of direction.


23. …was that scary, department store cosmetics counter maven—but I was the nice one…I think.


24. … can be a righteous bore.


25. …am starting to think I look much better on paper than in person. Oh well.

Whaddaya know...Turns out that Johnny Cash beat me to the punch on old Bobby's qualities as a poet...

Vicarious Living

Xanga and blogrolling.com--two great tastes that...Well, here the analogy breaks down. Ahem... Bottom line--my handy-dandy "Sited Sites" thinggummy is no more and my halfhearted attempts to revive it have been thus far futile. I'll tackle it again when 'focus' and I are on speaking terms.

Meanwhile, the sites and their authors are alive and kicking. (if you have no idea what I'm going on about--click back to here, here and here to meet the cast of the currently AWOL sidebar links...

Having made a short post unneccessarily much longer, I can now go on to say that The Propagandist has made me squeal with delighted jealousy today by landing and writing about--not just one--but two opportunities to stick it to the deserving.

Need I add that he rose admirably to both occasions. They are spun, baby.

He needs to update his scoreboard though. Prop:2 Assholes:0

Media-ocrity

Salon Blogger, RayneToday (Searching for dharma in spite of the weather) posted a shortie on stipending deposed dictators. It includes a link to the news article that spurred the post.

The ABC story's tagline is "For Dictator Drop Outs-Try the Academy"

I've seen the fellowship program referred to in the article written about before. It appears to have boosters and detractors in equal parts.

Help me out here, though. I may be missing something...The ABC article notes that, regarding the program requirements: "There are solid criteria potential candidates must meet, though. "They have got to be democratically elected or made significant efforts to move the country along those lines," he said.".

They then post the list of current BU Balfour prospects. All of whom fit that requirement (in addition to being African).

Then ABC goes on to say, "Although the Balfour program is designed for African leaders, there are some other leaders that Washington certainly wishes would join the list." and procedes to name Jong, Castro and Hussein as examples.

Unless I missed the memo...None of these three leaders was democratically elected or has indicated the slightest interest in "moving the country along that line."

Is it ABC that has missed the salient point regarding democracy and is hypothesising here about what they think Washington leaders would like? Is it that Washington leaders have missed that point and/or dismiss democracy's role in the Balfour equation? Or, seriously--did I miss a memo? Because if it's our Washington leaders who are amiss here, then I posit to ABC that they have missed the larger, more immediate story--"Washington Leaders Unfit to Lead" 

Then there is the article's use of Colin Powell's statements that he sees US-aided exile for Hussein as a viable part of an Iraq solution. There is even a video link Powell speaking on the subject. Fine, but what am I to make of this segue?

"It's not likely that Saddam will take the secretary of state up on his offer, but one American university might give the Iraqi leader some ideas — a program designed to persuade iron-fisted rulers to loosen their grip without bloodshed."

It is sloppy and unfair to a readership and to the entities involved to make a sweeping connection between a program designed for former heads of state who embraced democracy (or at least kissed it for the cameras) and a political position on international affairs made by a current government official. Am I being needlessly petty or pedantic? Is this level of journalism adequate to an informed populace?

Given the complexity, volume and global scope of issues impacting us today, it is much to ask every news item to be top-notch, salient and well-presented. However, given the complexity, volume and global scope of the issues impacting us today, is this the quality of information we should expect or tolerate from a major media outlet?

Once upon a time there was a lovely little rant about ants.

Specifically, about Brit researchers admonishing that if people could be more like ants and less like people, then we would not have traffic jams and many human problems could be solved.

That is not this piece. That piece is irrevocably gone. Cast into the gaping black hole of "fatal error".

Like any piece of work that is mysteriously and brutally devoured by arcane, broken, flakey, bullshit technology, it has taken on a life of it's own.

Dammit--that Ant Rant was good. The best EVER. It had lots of painstakingly cut and pasted quotes about ants and humanity and...and...(sob) it really *said* something, yes?

A barometer for the week, really. A sonata-week of failed attempts and spiraling frustration. The Ant Rant is merely the volta--a crescendo moment of days and days filled with barley soups gone gummy, pseudo-houseguests who fail to grasp that after 9+ months you are no longer a houseguest, siblings acting out, husbands pushing the very limits of adoration with transparently passive-aggressive approach-avoidance manuevering, lightbulbs that blow up instead of burning out, wooden boxes that leap from the darkness to break toes...all templated over work where clients waffle, assistants must be hand-held, supervisors play politics and time tick-tick-ticks away winnowed down by unreturned phone calls and MORE software eating applications.

But the Ant Rant felt so redeeming. So right. So good. And then it was gone.
Damn you xTool. Damn you ants. I shake my fist at you all! Even now you mock me, Xanga--denying me the use of 'bold, underline and italics'...You've eaten the lovely list of blogroll.com "sites I read". Fine. See if I care.

Beware though, a woman on the edge. You could have given me the ants, you cruel, laughing world. What would it have cost you? Instead I go antless; careening into the day before me.

Little matter. I am capable of restraint. Of pulling my lips back in a cadaveresque grimace of a smile. Capable of choking back bile and hubris poised, quivering for assault on the tip of a bitter tongue.

Oh yes...as always I appear to be nothing if not capable. A thin pudding skin of civility stretched to cracking over the wanton, bitch Lilith woman lurking underneath. You might ask, world--but you don't--, "If she is so capable in all these pleasing ways...What else, what other might she be capable of to our regret?"

Well, lay off with the funny business or we'll all find out.

Who Are Those People...in the Sites Column (continued)?

Whether through procrastination or prioritization, I've been seriously remiss in following through on my intent to "Preamble" the sites noted on this site.

So without further ado:

VeryModern Astrology

Should a glance at the title put you in mind of a Cosmo Bedside Guide you will be either relieved or disappointed (but not for long) to find instead some of the freshest, most tenderly written work on the web.

Yes, there is a unifying theme of astrological reference throughout. And it is just that--a theme. VeryModern's stories, character sketches, and insights are sometimes spiced, sometimes soldered with signs, trines and aspects in understandable language that complements rather than detracts from the entries.

VM's writing, asides and stories are fascinating--certainly in the sense that she and her subjects are fascinating in themselves; but more so in VM's treatment of her tales. There is a voice at work on this site that pulls no punches yet demonstrates to the reader the landscape and personalities from vistas less common. The banal becomes mystic. The trite becomes ineffable. The unbelievable becomes understandable.

One comes away from VM's site temporarily imbued with a smattering of Elsa-dust.  It enables viewing one's personal landscape with an eclectic eye--and to recognize the stories of adventure and enlightenment lurking there. Quite a gift. Quite a writer.

The Horse You Rode In On

 ...or "THYRIO" is evocative of 'that guy'...the one you spent time with because one minute his raucous irreverency had you shooting coffee out your nose in a late night diner whilst the next you could have an earnest discussion on American foreign policy which would all culminate in some raucous irreverency about foreign policy leading to coffee/nose physics and a large 'guilt tip' for the waitress.

THYRIO is also on the site list as someone who is candidly working to write each day. He sets that goal and has stuck by it. Since I'm struggling with that goal, myself, I know often it's no easy feat. Easy is dropping in to the "Grassy Cove" (an extemporaneous "what I'm thinking about today" section) for a brief morning respite. The tone varys to suit the topic (family, MLK, zen, his band, snow) and mood for each piece.

Endlessly amusing are THYRIO's "Future Predictions (made on a pot high)". Which ones tickle your funny bones will vary widely. That's half the fun, though, since there's usually a little something for everyone.

Ultimately, I hang at this site for the comfort of familiar ground. THYRIO & I seem to share a coffee-snorting ethic that no cow is too sacred. One can be earnest and invested concomitant to poking fun and having it on at everyone and everythings' expense...Huzzah.

Reforming Project Management

Okay, let's get real. If you lie awake at night pondering "What systems really define the qualities of my project", or "Has GANTT outlived it's usefulness? Is there an evolutionary next-step to clustering and pseudo-neural networking for project controls that bears deeper examination?", then this site is bookmark worthy, Baby.

It is organized and coherent (well, one would hope now, wouldn't one?). The site has a robust, active and articulate readership and that makes for very dynamic content. PM mania, Dude...(yeah. PM + mania is a bit of a redundant phrase.)...

For those who are interested or have had formal project management thrust upon them, the many links and resources available through this page warrant a mouse-click as well. (NB: I say formal, since PM geeks such as myself are quick to point out that everything is a 'project' at it's common denominator...I'll have to post my Peanut Butter and Jelly Project Map here sometime--or perhaps not--that might be too perverse. )

If para's 1&2 are a "no and hell no". Then don't bother with Reforming Project Management unless you've been looking for a new exercise in sado-masochism or a cure for insomnia...

And That, Folks, completes our current line-up...

Again, if you're just reading this, the rest of the "Sighted Sites" overview/introductions are about a page back...

Things that Make YBCW Go "Grrrrr...."(warning..contains sleep deprived rambling, ranting content--and some smug self-aggrandizing for good measure)

Bitter? Yes. Employed? Yes. And that is more than many can say during these leaner times. I do not envy today's job seeker who is 'cold calling' without a door, much less a foot in a door.

Sure, there are tools and resources that make the job hunt phenomenally more open and accessible than anytime ever in history...But you still have to wade through the opportunistic, leechified dreck of the unscrupulous 'agents'...

To late to be succinct. Instead I'll be brief on this point. Tonight, while surfing up some of the more obscure leads online for an acquaintance, I came across a ploy so disingenuous in it's misinformed candor that I was compelled to take harsh and immediate corrective action.

There was a listing for a SR PROJ MGR. Huh...that's what I do. And God knows I'm a curious little monkey, so off to the posting I went.

The job description, posted by one of those IT Outsourcing Outfits that are constantly harrassing me to contract their people, was pretty non-descript and called for the usual: PMI Certification, Kajillion Years managing a lower rung of Dantean Hell, Able to leap tall buildings, yada yada...Here's the kicker... Education? High School Diploma or GED...

Now. I don't want to get sucked into any debates about the shiny scrap of paper, okay? I made great scratch (sometimes) and had many interesting work adventures (sometimes) without the benefit of a higher education...However...

In order to to APPLY for Project Management Institute Certification (PMI) you must possess at least a 4 year Bacc and demonstrate somewhere around 1500 hours of project specific work in a variety of different areas of expertise. Only then are you allowed to register to take an exam whereby--if you pass, you are a bonifido PMP (project management professional--Yeah-like everyone else is chopped liver--but hell, it's their little fan club--they make the rules). 

So the idea that this outfit could get someone with a highschool education a gig as a PM--It ain't a happinin'...which pissed me off. So I went cruising their other postings...Same deal. And that pissed me off even more.

When someone is out in the world looking for the place that they will next eke out a living (happily, one hopes) they do NOT need distractions. They do NOT need false hopes. They do NOT need to be fleeced into spending valuable time, resources and sometimes money...that they could better use narrowing down the opportunities that are within (sometimes with just a little stretch) their grasp.

But then, I guess if you've just gut-punched some poor bastard who's come in with the hope that maybe, just maybe this high profile, high paying fairy-tale job will come true, then it's all that much easier to shame or bully them into signing up for classes and such with money and time they may not have at the moment....It's. It's like JOE MILLIONAIRE for job seekers.

I was so appalled (and cranky--frankly in need of a viable, lock and tone target) that I took action. I hunted up the corporate page of the offending posts and blanket emailed the Senior Management. I copied my own outsourcing internals.

To paraphrase the email: 

I pointed out the above examples. Practices like this are deceptive and unethical I held. It makes me distrust the company itself.

Why would I want to do any outsourcing business with a company that obviously didn't care to be factual or honest regarding what qualifications a position required? Or conversely, knew so little about the positions that they would recruit for them in such a manner?

How could I have faith that they would be honest with me or capable of understanding needs regarding the qualifications of the people they offered to contract to me?

Those posting suck, I maintained. And they, therefore, suck by association.

I closed with something along the lines of have a nice day in hell. (okay, I didn't really...but it was in there...underneath... :-p)

Wonder if they'll respond. Heh...Oh they'll respond. My corporate letterhead, position and the cc to our HR pretty much guarantees it.

I wonder, rather, if I'll receive the usual fruit basket of platitudes or whether someone might be frank enough to say "fuck right off" back at me...That could be interesting.

What I'd really like is for someone to say, "Gee you're right. We'll get right on that and thanks for not telling us to have a nice day in hell directly".

But I won't be holding my breath....GRRRRRRR...

YBCW's been in a bit of a funk lately. The kind where everything is taken personally and NOone has their head on straight...(incl me, btw--I'm occasionally delusional--but not a Cleopatra...)

What I really need is some serious, significant downtime. As a PM, though, the projects dictate the tempo and 'stepping out'. And projects, like precocious children, have a knack for tipping the jam jar and teepee-ing the cat just when you were sure they'd settled in for their nap. No rest for the wicked.

I can tell it's not just me. Some serious Mistral Wind has got everyone in a fidgety, subdued uproar...

See that? Yeah..."whoooosh, mutter, murmur....Roarrrrrr.....whisper, tickle...siiiiIIGhhhh......" Mistral Wind. It makes people edgy. Antsy. Anxious. It creates funny pressure fronts that drive you stark raving mad...

In Southern France where the seasonal Mistral Winds blow, assaults and murders and general mayhem goes through the roof during Mistrals. Smart money gets the hell out of Dodge or hunkers and bunkers down.

But, when you are the designated "Safe Harbor", the "Shelter from the Storm" girl...Well, that puts a kink in the garden hose, now doesn't it? Cause while you're looking for the exit sign or cellar door, there is an influx of refugees and outflux of emigrees creating even more eddies and currents in the Astral Winds...

Schhaaah! It's like the '12 Days of Crisis' around here:

...Seven neurotic girlfriends/Six internal meetings...Fivvve days to payyyy....Fo-ur 'rents and In-laws/Three birthdays...Two-o business trips...and one husband who's losing his minnnnnd!

Well, it's not always easy. This too shall pass. [Insert any other annoying platitude here]...

The Mistral also blows in change...One tricky part is letting it happen...You can get pretty attached to some of that chaff that goes whisking away, dancing in little dust devils along the road to who knows where.

The trickier part is knowing when it's topsoil that's blowing in that wind...See, if you've got good soil, you've got everything...but when things have been dry, and a Mistral's on the way, you'd better have been opening the irrigation and keeping that good stuff nice and soaking wet. Better, even, if that soil's got roots and good stuff growing all over to hold it where it is...If you don't? When all has come and gone your fields are barren hard pan and you ain't got squat.

Seven new stars

Are joined to the heavens.

Seven bold lives

Journey where? Who can say.

God grant our lives

Be as bold as those seven's.

Whose far-reaching dreams

Took them from us today.

TequilaMockingbird's writing is typically very good. Today, however, she was splendid.

On a day where some are asking, "What's all the fuss? Why is this important?" I'm updating the timestamp so that her equisite eulogy and essay on the Columbia are accessible from this page.

Brava, TKM--and thank you.