February 14, 2003

  • Potentially TMI (installment 3 of 4)


    The final 25! Here are #’s 76-100 (1-25 are here, 26-50 are here, 51-75)



    1. …lived for 17 years in ‘the big city’.

    2. …now live 2 hours from the nearest ‘big city’.

    3. …need to take better care of myself.

    4. …am married to a man whose skills far out-strip MacGuyver’s.

    5. …still am compelled to stand over his shoulder and tell him how to fix things.

    6. …dined on pasta and wine whilst perched in the lap of a Mafia boss.

    7. …found love only after I wrote it off as bad business.

    8. …am a voracious reader. Classics, pulp, cereal boxes—whatever I can get.

    9. …briefly flirted with blackout drinking in my twenties.

    10. …still cannot find a single redeeming moment in my experience with early education.

    11. …dined on peanut butter in jars for 9 weeks after my business was robbed.

    12. …once set fire to an unfaithful lover’s sheets and threw them from the window to the alley below.

    13. …know how to make my point.

    14. …am more particular these days about which points really need to be made.

    15. …refused to enroll in college out of high school.

    16. …told my family to “go ahead” and transfer a trust fund to my sister. They did.

    17. …am a backseat driver.

    18. …dined on stale bread and cheese with a monk during lamb season in the French Alps.

    19. …am a complete and total slob.

    20. … am a flibberdegibbet.

    21. …delight in that experience of the explosive, surprised laugh—getting it and giving it.

    22. …am nicknamed ‘Wrong Way Corrigan’ for my terrible sense of direction.

    23. …was that scary, department store cosmetics counter maven—but I was the nice one…I think.

    24. … can be a righteous bore.

    25. …am starting to think I look much better on paper than in person. Oh well.


     

February 12, 2003








  •  


    The Times They are A’Changing


    Just got off the horn with a friend ten years my junior who’s been struggling lately. I note P’s age because it came up in our talk.


    She’d related her latest ‘stay/go love/hate’ saga and without thinking I replied, “Sounds pretty Dylan”. Which was met with the whooshing of winds through the generation gap.


    I was referring, of course, to Bob…Mr Zimmerman. Bob Dylan. I could see P’s nose wrinkling even through the phone. “Ugh-Him? He’s so old and weird.” and proceded to point out that Dylan was old and weird even when *I* was a kid (you know, back when dinosaurs roamed and all).


    That’s true (and Dylan was weird way before he was old). Yet, Bob Dylan and Hunter S Thompson and their ilk were still around and accessible in a not-old-and-weird way when I and my tribe were hitting our stride. I guess it would be a bit like (god, am I going to write this? yes I am) Madonna for today’s twenty-somethings; She is still a presence though that visceral *now-ness* of her emergence has peaked. Dylan’s work was a touchstone of who we were and what we were becoming. He was like that friend’s older brother who once said something kind.


    So, while I know that there is no dearth of material on every concievable subject from the new artists out there, I felt a bit sad for P. Dylan’s voice and stylings may have had their ups and downs. His heyday has come and gone. As an artist though–a poet–Dylan possesses a magic to speak plainly and eloquently of themes and dreams, good and evil, right and wrong and why it doesn’t matter and why it will always always matter.


    Right now, with the volume up high, I will think good thoughts for you, P. And Dylan will sing you some truth…


    Seeing the Real You At Last



    Well, I thought that the rain would cool things down
    But it looks like it don’t.
    I’d like to get you to change your mind
    But it looks like you won’t.

    From now on I’ll be busy,
    Ain’t goin’ nowhere fast.
    I’m just glad it’s over
    And I’m seeing the real you at last.

    Well, didn’t I risk my neck for you,
    Didn’t I take chances?
    Didn’t I rise above it all for you,
    The most unfortunate circumstances?

    Well, I have had some rotten nights,
    Didn’t think that they would pass.
    I’m just thankful and grateful
    To be seeing the real you at last.

    I’m hungry and I’m irritable
    And I’m tired of this bag of tricks.
    At one time there was nothing wrong with me
    That you could not fix.

    Well, I sailed through the storm
    Strapped to the mast,
    But the time has come
    And I’m seeing the real you at last.

    When I met you, baby,
    You didn’t show no visible scars.
    You could ride like Annie Oakley,
    You could shoot like Belle Starr.

    Well, I don’t mind a reasonable amount of trouble,
    Trouble always comes to pass
    But all I care about now
    Is that I’m seeing the real you at last.

    Well, I’m gonna quit this baby talk now,
    I guess I should have known.
    I got troubles, I think maybe you got troubles,
    I think maybe we’d better leave each other alone.

    Whatever you gonna do,
    Please do it fast.
    I’m still trying to get used to
    Seeing the real you at last.



    Copyright © 1985 Special Rider Music


    ‘Weird and old’…Ha! Is this not a “Spin” magazine coverboy?



    (granted, he was going through that bizarre purple velvet phase during my heyday in the mid/late 80s–but sensible crush-girls ignore that nonsense and concentrate on the images that suit them–ala “Importance of Being Earnest”…) I always preferred ‘em less fuzzy anyway…


    Whaddaya know…Turns out that Johnny Cash beat me to the punch on old Bobby’s qualities as a poet…

  • Vicarious Living


    Xanga and blogrolling.com–two great tastes that…Well, here the analogy breaks down. Ahem… Bottom line–my handy-dandy “Sited Sites” thinggummy is no more and my halfhearted attempts to revive it have been thus far futile. I’ll tackle it again when ‘focus’ and I are on speaking terms.


    Meanwhile, the sites and their authors are alive and kicking. (if you have no idea what I’m going on about–click back to here, here and here to meet the cast of the currently AWOL sidebar links…


    Having made a short post unneccessarily much longer, I can now go on to say that The Propagandist has made me squeal with delighted jealousy today by landing and writing about–not just one–but two opportunities to stick it to the deserving.


    Need I add that he rose admirably to both occasions. They are spun, baby.


    He needs to update his scoreboard though. Prop:2 Assholes:0

  • Media-ocrity



    Salon Blogger, RayneToday (Searching for dharma in spite of the weather) posted a shortie on stipending deposed dictators. It includes a link to the news article that spurred the post.


    The ABC story’s tagline is “For Dictator Drop Outs-Try the Academy”


    I’ve seen the fellowship program referred to in the article written about before. It appears to have boosters and detractors in equal parts.


    Help me out here, though. I may be missing something…The ABC article notes that, regarding the program requirements: “There are solid criteria potential candidates must meet, though. “They have got to be democratically elected or made significant efforts to move the country along those lines,” he said.”.


    They then post the list of current BU Balfour prospects. All of whom fit that requirement (in addition to being African).


    Then ABC goes on to say, “Although the Balfour program is designed for African leaders, there are some other leaders that Washington certainly wishes would join the list.” and procedes to name Jong, Castro and Hussein as examples.


    Unless I missed the memo…None of these three leaders was democratically elected or has indicated the slightest interest in “moving the country along that line.”


    Is it ABC that has missed the salient point regarding democracy and is hypothesising here about what they think Washington leaders would like? Is it that Washington leaders have missed that point and/or dismiss democracy’s role in the Balfour equation? Or, seriously–did I miss a memo? Because if it’s our Washington leaders who are amiss here, then I posit to ABC that they have missed the larger, more immediate story–”Washington Leaders Unfit to Lead” 


    Then there is the article’s use of Colin Powell’s statements that he sees US-aided exile for Hussein as a viable part of an Iraq solution. There is even a video link Powell speaking on the subject. Fine, but what am I to make of this segue?


    It’s not likely that Saddam will take the secretary of state up on his offer, but one American university might give the Iraqi leader some ideas — a program designed to persuade iron-fisted rulers to loosen their grip without bloodshed.”


    It is sloppy and unfair to a readership and to the entities involved to make a sweeping connection between a program designed for former heads of state who embraced democracy (or at least kissed it for the cameras) and a political position on international affairs made by a current government official. Am I being needlessly petty or pedantic? Is this level of journalism adequate to an informed populace?


    Given the complexity, volume and global scope of issues impacting us today, it is much to ask every news item to be top-notch, salient and well-presented. However, given the complexity, volume and global scope of the issues impacting us today, is this the quality of information we should expect or tolerate from a major media outlet?

February 7, 2003

  • Once upon a time there was a lovely little rant about ants.

    Specifically, about Brit researchers admonishing that if people could be more like ants and less like people, then we would not have traffic jams and many human problems could be solved.

    That is not this piece. That piece is irrevocably gone. Cast into the gaping black hole of “fatal error”.

    Like any piece of work that is mysteriously and brutally devoured by arcane, broken, flakey, bullshit technology, it has taken on a life of it’s own.

    Dammit–that Ant Rant was good. The best EVER. It had lots of painstakingly cut and pasted quotes about ants and humanity and…and…(sob) it really *said* something, yes?

    A barometer for the week, really. A sonata-week of failed attempts and spiraling frustration. The Ant Rant is merely the volta–a crescendo moment of days and days filled with barley soups gone gummy, pseudo-houseguests who fail to grasp that after 9+ months you are no longer a houseguest, siblings acting out, husbands pushing the very limits of adoration with transparently passive-aggressive approach-avoidance manuevering, lightbulbs that blow up instead of burning out, wooden boxes that leap from the darkness to break toes…all templated over work where clients waffle, assistants must be hand-held, supervisors play politics and time tick-tick-ticks away winnowed down by unreturned phone calls and MORE software eating applications.

    But the Ant Rant felt so redeeming. So right. So good. And then it was gone.
    Damn you xTool. Damn you ants. I shake my fist at you all! Even now you mock me, Xanga–denying me the use of ‘bold, underline and italics’…You’ve eaten the lovely list of blogroll.com “sites I read”. Fine. See if I care.

    Beware though, a woman on the edge. You could have given me the ants, you cruel, laughing world. What would it have cost you? Instead I go antless; careening into the day before me.

    Little matter. I am capable of restraint. Of pulling my lips back in a cadaveresque grimace of a smile. Capable of choking back bile and hubris poised, quivering for assault on the tip of a bitter tongue.

    Oh yes…as always I appear to be nothing if not capable. A thin pudding skin of civility stretched to cracking over the wanton, bitch Lilith woman lurking underneath. You might ask, world–but you don’t–, “If she is so capable in all these pleasing ways…What else, what other might she be capable of to our regret?”

    Well, lay off with the funny business or we’ll all find out.

February 5, 2003

  • Who Are Those People…in the Sites Column (continued)?


    Whether through procrastination or prioritization, I’ve been seriously remiss in following through on my intent to “Preamble” the sites noted on this site.


    So without further ado:


    VeryModern Astrology


    Should a glance at the title put you in mind of a Cosmo Bedside Guide you will be either relieved or disappointed (but not for long) to find instead some of the freshest, most tenderly written work on the web.


    Yes, there is a unifying theme of astrological reference throughout. And it is just that–a theme. VeryModern’s stories, character sketches, and insights are sometimes spiced, sometimes soldered with signs, trines and aspects in understandable language that complements rather than detracts from the entries.


    VM’s writing, asides and stories are fascinating–certainly in the sense that she and her subjects are fascinating in themselves; but more so in VM’s treatment of her tales. There is a voice at work on this site that pulls no punches yet demonstrates to the reader the landscape and personalities from vistas less common. The banal becomes mystic. The trite becomes ineffable. The unbelievable becomes understandable.


    One comes away from VM’s site temporarily imbued with a smattering of Elsa-dust.  It enables viewing one’s personal landscape with an eclectic eye–and to recognize the stories of adventure and enlightenment lurking there. Quite a gift. Quite a writer.


    The Horse You Rode In On


     …or “THYRIO” is evocative of ‘that guy’…the one you spent time with because one minute his raucous irreverency had you shooting coffee out your nose in a late night diner whilst the next you could have an earnest discussion on American foreign policy which would all culminate in some raucous irreverency about foreign policy leading to coffee/nose physics and a large ‘guilt tip’ for the waitress.


    THYRIO is also on the site list as someone who is candidly working to write each day. He sets that goal and has stuck by it. Since I’m struggling with that goal, myself, I know often it’s no easy feat. Easy is dropping in to the “Grassy Cove” (an extemporaneous “what I’m thinking about today” section) for a brief morning respite. The tone varys to suit the topic (family, MLK, zen, his band, snow) and mood for each piece.


    Endlessly amusing are THYRIO’s “Future Predictions (made on a pot high)”. Which ones tickle your funny bones will vary widely. That’s half the fun, though, since there’s usually a little something for everyone.


    Ultimately, I hang at this site for the comfort of familiar ground. THYRIO & I seem to share a coffee-snorting ethic that no cow is too sacred. One can be earnest and invested concomitant to poking fun and having it on at everyone and everythings’ expense…Huzzah.


    Reforming Project Management


    Okay, let’s get real. If you lie awake at night pondering “What systems really define the qualities of my project”, or “Has GANTT outlived it’s usefulness? Is there an evolutionary next-step to clustering and pseudo-neural networking for project controls that bears deeper examination?”, then this site is bookmark worthy, Baby.


    It is organized and coherent (well, one would hope now, wouldn’t one?). The site has a robust, active and articulate readership and that makes for very dynamic content. PM mania, Dude…(yeah. PM + mania is a bit of a redundant phrase.)…


    For those who are interested or have had formal project management thrust upon them, the many links and resources available through this page warrant a mouse-click as well. (NB: I say formal, since PM geeks such as myself are quick to point out that everything is a ‘project’ at it’s common denominator…I’ll have to post my Peanut Butter and Jelly Project Map here sometime–or perhaps not–that might be too perverse. )


    If para’s 1&2 are a “no and hell no”. Then don’t bother with Reforming Project Management unless you’ve been looking for a new exercise in sado-masochism or a cure for insomnia…


    And That, Folks, completes our current line-up…


    Again, if you’re just reading this, the rest of the “Sighted Sites” overview/introductions are about a page back…

  • Things that Make YBCW Go “Grrrrr….”(warning..contains sleep deprived rambling, ranting content–and some smug self-aggrandizing for good measure)


    Bitter? Yes. Employed? Yes. And that is more than many can say during these leaner times. I do not envy today’s job seeker who is ‘cold calling’ without a door, much less a foot in a door.


    Sure, there are tools and resources that make the job hunt phenomenally more open and accessible than anytime ever in history…But you still have to wade through the opportunistic, leechified dreck of the unscrupulous ‘agents’…


    To late to be succinct. Instead I’ll be brief on this point. Tonight, while surfing up some of the more obscure leads online for an acquaintance, I came across a ploy so disingenuous in it’s misinformed candor that I was compelled to take harsh and immediate corrective action.


    There was a listing for a SR PROJ MGR. Huh…that’s what I do. And God knows I’m a curious little monkey, so off to the posting I went.


    The job description, posted by one of those IT Outsourcing Outfits that are constantly harrassing me to contract their people, was pretty non-descript and called for the usual: PMI Certification, Kajillion Years managing a lower rung of Dantean Hell, Able to leap tall buildings, yada yada…Here’s the kicker… Education? High School Diploma or GED…


    Now. I don’t want to get sucked into any debates about the shiny scrap of paper, okay? I made great scratch (sometimes) and had many interesting work adventures (sometimes) without the benefit of a higher education…However…


    In order to to APPLY for Project Management Institute Certification (PMI) you must possess at least a 4 year Bacc and demonstrate somewhere around 1500 hours of project specific work in a variety of different areas of expertise. Only then are you allowed to register to take an exam whereby–if you pass, you are a bonifido PMP (project management professional–Yeah-like everyone else is chopped liver–but hell, it’s their little fan club–they make the rules). 


    So the idea that this outfit could get someone with a highschool education a gig as a PM–It ain’t a happinin’…which pissed me off. So I went cruising their other postings…Same deal. And that pissed me off even more.


    When someone is out in the world looking for the place that they will next eke out a living (happily, one hopes) they do NOT need distractions. They do NOT need false hopes. They do NOT need to be fleeced into spending valuable time, resources and sometimes money…that they could better use narrowing down the opportunities that are within (sometimes with just a little stretch) their grasp.


    But then, I guess if you’ve just gut-punched some poor bastard who’s come in with the hope that maybe, just maybe this high profile, high paying fairy-tale job will come true, then it’s all that much easier to shame or bully them into signing up for classes and such with money and time they may not have at the moment….It’s. It’s like JOE MILLIONAIRE for job seekers.


    I was so appalled (and cranky–frankly in need of a viable, lock and tone target) that I took action. I hunted up the corporate page of the offending posts and blanket emailed the Senior Management. I copied my own outsourcing internals.


    To paraphrase the email: 


    I pointed out the above examples. Practices like this are deceptive and unethical I held. It makes me distrust the company itself.


    Why would I want to do any outsourcing business with a company that obviously didn’t care to be factual or honest regarding what qualifications a position required? Or conversely, knew so little about the positions that they would recruit for them in such a manner?


    How could I have faith that they would be honest with me or capable of understanding needs regarding the qualifications of the people they offered to contract to me?


    Those posting suck, I maintained. And they, therefore, suck by association.


    I closed with something along the lines of have a nice day in hell. (okay, I didn’t really…but it was in there…underneath… :-p)


    Wonder if they’ll respond. Heh…Oh they’ll respond. My corporate letterhead, position and the cc to our HR pretty much guarantees it.


    I wonder, rather, if I’ll receive the usual fruit basket of platitudes or whether someone might be frank enough to say “fuck right off” back at me…That could be interesting.


    What I’d really like is for someone to say, “Gee you’re right. We’ll get right on that and thanks for not telling us to have a nice day in hell directly”.


    But I won’t be holding my breath….GRRRRRRR…

February 4, 2003

  • YBCW’s been in a bit of a funk lately. The kind where everything is taken personally and NOone has their head on straight…(incl me, btw–I’m occasionally delusional–but not a Cleopatra…)


    What I really need is some serious, significant downtime. As a PM, though, the projects dictate the tempo and ‘stepping out’. And projects, like precocious children, have a knack for tipping the jam jar and teepee-ing the cat just when you were sure they’d settled in for their nap. No rest for the wicked.


    I can tell it’s not just me. Some serious Mistral Wind has got everyone in a fidgety, subdued uproar…



    See that? Yeah…”whoooosh, mutter, murmur….Roarrrrrr…..whisper, tickle…siiiiIIGhhhh……” Mistral Wind. It makes people edgy. Antsy. Anxious. It creates funny pressure fronts that drive you stark raving mad…


    In Southern France where the seasonal Mistral Winds blow, assaults and murders and general mayhem goes through the roof during Mistrals. Smart money gets the hell out of Dodge or hunkers and bunkers down.


    But, when you are the designated “Safe Harbor”, the “Shelter from the Storm” girl…Well, that puts a kink in the garden hose, now doesn’t it? Cause while you’re looking for the exit sign or cellar door, there is an influx of refugees and outflux of emigrees creating even more eddies and currents in the Astral Winds…


    Schhaaah! It’s like the ’12 Days of Crisis’ around here:


    …Seven neurotic girlfriends/Six internal meetings…Fivvve days to payyyy….Fo-ur ‘rents and In-laws/Three birthdays…Two-o business trips…and one husband who’s losing his minnnnnd!


    Well, it’s not always easy. This too shall pass. [Insert any other annoying platitude here]…


    The Mistral also blows in change…One tricky part is letting it happen…You can get pretty attached to some of that chaff that goes whisking away, dancing in little dust devils along the road to who knows where.


    The trickier part is knowing when it’s topsoil that’s blowing in that wind…See, if you’ve got good soil, you’ve got everything…but when things have been dry, and a Mistral’s on the way, you’d better have been opening the irrigation and keeping that good stuff nice and soaking wet. Better, even, if that soil’s got roots and good stuff growing all over to hold it where it is…If you don’t? When all has come and gone your fields are barren hard pan and you ain’t got squat.


February 3, 2003


  • Seven new stars


    Are joined to the heavens.


    Seven bold lives


    Journey where? Who can say.


    God grant our lives


    Be as bold as those seven’s.


    Whose far-reaching dreams


    Took them from us today.

    TequilaMockingbird’s writing is typically very good. Today, however, she was splendid.


    On a day where some are asking, “What’s all the fuss? Why is this important?” I’m updating the timestamp so that her equisite eulogy and essay on the Columbia are accessible from this page.


    Brava, TKM–and thank you.


     


     


     


     

January 30, 2003


  • This is longer than it probably needs to be…that’s the fallout of writing sporadically in short bursts…I’m certain it would stand up to a few brutal edits…and I will prbably do just that in the days to come…or, I might just get over it and move on…we’ll have to see, won’t we…


    AN ETHICAL CONUNDRUM OF THE UTERINE KIND


    I was a little loathe to even take up this subject here. Especially since the conversation below comes off perhaps a bit crass or callous.


    On reflection, though, having given the story more thought, I think that the larger context of the issue is worthy of consideration. Was this woman violated intentionally (being the biggest question) or even unintentionally?


    We have to (well, I have to) start with a working premise that patients have a basic right to be treated with dignity and respect by their healthcare-providers. Granted we all work on the assumption of some level of decency between any two peoples’ interaction, but in a larger arena of dependency such as that which often exists between patient and provider, higher stakes are involved–so we take the trust more seriously.


    The field gets tricky when we begin to explore and question just what is involved with the give and take of a patient’s basic right. In this instance, the woman in question is suing for mental and emotional distress brought on by learning that her doctor ‘branded’ her uterus with the UofK insignia during a hysterectomy procedure. My initial reaction was disgust and revulsion that anyone would do such a thing…my knee jerk “no harm, no foul ” second reaction didn’t really ease my dis-ease with the incident.


    Reading further, though, I learned some additional facts and data that really have the makings of a down and dirty Ethical Conundrum…


    conundrum


    n : a difficult problem [syn: riddle, enigma, brain-teaser]


    On with the conversation and we’ll do a little follow up on the flip side…


    The Breaking Story


    Followup With Graphic Photo (you’ve been warned)


    The Conversation: (news story referenced in this conversation )


    c: “Doctor Defends Branding Woman’s Uterus”


    bow: eeewwww


    bow: why would he do such a thing?


    …[irrelevant text about bottle washing removed]…


    c: Did I mention that the ‘brand’ in question was the Uof Kentucky initials?


    c: Cause he’s a booster..


    bow: no you didn’t


    bow: who the hell is ever going to see it anyway


    c: His defense is that it’s a routine part of a hysterectomy…


    bow: uh huh


    c: Noone [will see it],[Bow]…it was a hysterectomy


    c: ie …all gone bye bye


    bow: it was involuntary.


    c: I admit, that the thought crossed my mind too…


    bow: he’s probably gong to lose his license as he should for that sort of thing


    c: the “what the hell? it’s medical waste, Babe”


    bow: heh


    bow: well, I didn’t think that all hysterectomies were total


    c: …but I guess that I join the ranks of those who prefer that their doctors NOT use my body parts (however transitory ) as a graffitti play pad.


    bow: she could be a UT grad and be very pissed


    c: LOL


    c: So, would her lawsuit fall under the GW categorization of a frivolous medical lawsuit like he spoke of in the SOTU?


    bow: As a Harvard grad, he knows the importance of being true to your school


    bow: I just got myself all riled up on that one. It reminded me that he IS a harvard grad! sheesh


    c: Whatever, blah blah I hate GW blah blah. oohhh…Doc goes on to say that using the Uof K insignia to mark the midline was “…Honorable since it made reference to the college of medicine where I received my medical degree”


    bow: ya ya, what a dink


    c: OMG…I dunno, [Bow]…this operation took place a YEAR ago…she and her husband were recently ‘watching the video tape’ of the operation…


    c: How’s THAT for a slow TV day…


    bow: ROFL


    c: errr…TV Prime Time night…


    bow: gee honey, let’s watch the video of my hysterectomy.


    c: and what the hell are you doing with a video tape of the op? to checkup on the doc? and more to the point, WHAT possesses someone a year later to pop it in? Why not right away if at all?


    c: I’mnot entirely convinced that this guy should be strung up…


    c: I mean, sure on it’s face it kind of creeps me out…


    c: but then, what about all the weird little work rituals that *I* have that my clients DONT need to know about? That really has nothing to do with the end work product..


    bow: no, not really, but branding my body parts, regardless of their continued usefulness, borders on the Mengele scale


    c: am referring in this instance to the ones that Do Not involve throwing darts at their logo or sticking pins in their stock ticker


    bow: heh


    c: okay, but…what I’m getting from the reading is that ALL or MOST surgeons have to make some sort of a mark that distinguishes the midline and points out which side is which…


    c: so….since EVERY uterus being hysterectomized is going to be ‘branded’ /cut/marked…


    bow: that puts new light on it. I guess it doesn’t matter what sort of mark it is


    c: should we get really bent out of shape that he uses the Uof K mark every time?


    bow: that goes back to my UT alumnus comment


    c: sure, but what self respecting UofT grad is going under the knife of a Uof K doc if they feel that strongly about it? Hmmn?


    bow: maybe there should be a section on the surgery release forms for desired moniker


    c: I have a feeling that after this incident there will be…:(


    bow: White Supremicist chicks can get a Hackenkreuz, Hippie chicks a Peace sign…


    c: Thereby boosting the price of the procedures through the roof…


    bow: ya, cuz now the docs have to be graphic designers, too


    End Conversation


    I’m still muddling through the brain work on this one. I’m sure that it was quite shocking for the woman to see her uterus on TV with a great big UofK burnt into it. But then, What wouldn’t be shocking given the context of popping in a tape to witness your insides in glorious technicolor? What type of mark would not make you reel given that it is seared into your own flesh? And I think that it bears mentioning that the uterus for women is a pretty intimate and focalized part of, well, their ‘woman-ness’.


    However, I am also largely inclined to think that the doctor meant no harm or even that he thought anything wrong with his action at the time. After all, the lady went home with a video tape of the procedure…and, most telling–he was going to have to laser/burn/brand SOMEthing there during the procedure. This is a markedly different case, imho, than the doctor who carved his initials into his patient’s abdomen. That was a permanent scarification into living tissue by a mentally disturbed man. This was, let’s be real, a necessary action (the marking) perfomed in a ritual/habitual manner (using the UofK) on diseased tissue that was detroyed as medical waste over a year ago.


    As I hint at in ‘the conversation’, there are certainly work habits of my own that would not pass close scrutiny should they be revealed to clients and co-workers. But they are quirks; some with a work purpose and some whose purpose is sheer sanity-saving levity.


    For example, how would it go over if a certain Program Manager were to learn that whenever I attend a meeting with her I wear special undergarments? Yep. I took a sharpie to them and neatly wrote “HUMOR THE BITCH” in bold lettering. I shit you not. When updating troubled project client contact info, I have a bodycount icon that I affix to people cycled off the team. And I smoke on conference calls. And hit mute and answer emails, IM’s and compile reports. Yeah–that’s gonna fly, right?


    But here’s the deal…I don’t miss a beat. That Program Manager loves to steal my work. And it garnered her a healthy bonus this year, too. Bigger than mine, I promise you. And my clients keep me around and keep coming back because I herd the cats and navigate the storms for them on their kajillion $ projects so damn well.


    Could I do this without my quirks? Errmm–yeah–probably. And I’d probably jettison them post-haste myself if I thought that they would ever negatively impact, or cause hurt or harm to anyone…


    …Just as I suspect that this Doctor feels terribly that he caused a patient upset, and will probably stop using his UofK. But with what shall he replace it? And though he probably will anyway at this point, should he be forced to? Or suffer the loss of his reputation and career because of what he did? I’m not so sure.


    Here’s a patient who had possession of the tape for a year. The procedure appears to have gone well (I haven’t heard otherwise, anyway). There’s been no data reported that indicates a malicious intent in the use of that mark (ie he’s not on tape humming the fight song and announcing his intention to preserve the organ in a jar for the office). She is alive and well and walking the planet. He is a UofK booster. The uterus in question is long ago gone.


    So why couldn’t it have played out as follows?


    ring ring “Doctor. I just watched the tape of my surgery and you burnt a huge UK in my uterus. What the hell is that all about? I’m very upset!”


    “Oh dear Ms. X, I’m terribly sorry to have upset you. In any hysterectomy, we have to mark the uterus to ensure that I remove it safely.”


    “Oh yeah? What’s with the UofK, though? How does that have anything to do with it?”


    “The UofK you saw is the right shape to guide me, and, well, it sounds silly I guess, but it helps remind me of the hard work I put in at school to be helping people like you with my medical skills today. It’s just a tool.”


    “Well. I don’t know…That was very shocking to see!”


    “I feel so badly that you were upset. I imagine that the tape of the surgery itself was pretty hard to watch. It probably raised a lot of questions for you. Speaking of which, may I ask why you are just now watching it? Are you feeling alright? Have you been experiencing pain?”


    “Oh. No. I feel fine. I guess I just thought it was time to watch the tape. And then when I do, I am confronted with..with this!”


    “I see. Ms. X. Why don’t we make an appointment for us to view the tape together? That way I can narrate and explain what is happening and why. Would that be okay? Or is there something else that I could do to help reconcile this for you?”


    But we don’t hear that anything like this happened. No. Instead, there’s a lawsuit and a huge media scandal and for all that Ms Stephanie Means claims it’s about not having this happen to other women, I am guessing that her “unspecified damages” have a lot of zeroes in them. 


    So what is the ultimate barometer for patient dignity? At what point has anything about this lawsuit approach been ‘diginfied’?


    Hey…I’m Pychoti…err..I mean Psychic!:


    Late breaking news on this story includes the woman speaking out.


    Highlights include;


    “I am surprised that was demeaning in any way. I would apologize, but it was not intentional,” Dr. Guiler said.


    and…


    “To him this was a piece of tissue, but to me it wasn’t. This was the home of my children and was an organ that conceived children,” said Stephanie.


    He noted that he will continue to perform hysterectomies in this manner. Her attorney notes that 4 more women want in on the lawsuit.


    She claims that he should have ‘asked permission’ first. (aha! per ‘the conversation’ here comes the extra red tape) But that would imply that he was doing something out of the norm for that procedure. Or, that each step of a procedure must be vetted and pre-approved by a surgical patient. Where does that leave emergency medicine which can be excruciatingly ‘undignified’ in the rush to save a life.


    To step it way down on the emotion-meter, isn’t this the medical equivalent of demanding, for instance, that a hair dresser would stop with each lift of the scissors and ask, “may I cut this part here? I’ll be doing it like-this. If that’s okay?” I mean, supposedly, one of the reasons you’re sitting in his/her chair is that you have a degree of certainty that this trained professional can get the job done…I used the hair dresser example specifically to segue into this next illustrative story…


    I have a friend who is pretty high-zoot in the salon scheme of things. Now, when you apply color or bleach to hair, you have to make certain that oxygen reaches all the strands or it won’t develop–okay? Well, my friend’s quirk is to transform the upscale businesswomen in his chair into punkrockers, bunny rabbits, elvis, and a range of other goofy-looking characters with the stiffy color gooped hair while they process…That’s just how he likes to remember the aeration part of what he’s doing.


    Sometimes the women will complain. He lets them know, “You look silly now anyway, Dear…but this way I can look over an know that everyone’s been done and that; bunny needs rinsing first, then check on Elvis and spot apply to punkrocker to get all her roots. If you’ve got a better system, sister, you just fill me in…or I suppose I could just wing it. You are beautiful, Girl…but you know you have to Suf-fer for that beauty..” He really does talk trash to them and gets away with it…He also what a world. I digress…


    My point is not to say that having a hysterectomy is like getting your roots done–not at all. But there are some reasonable parallels here that are worth examining.


    After much consideration I think that the woman suing the doctor is way out of line. I can understand her initial upset and unhappiness. However, I think she’s blown it out of context. This doctor provided her (to all appearances) with appropriate medical treatment. To come after him in a lawsuit for an act that was not malicious nor harmful seems a poor choice for handling her emotional distress. 


    US juries can be a voilatile bunch, though. It may just be that the woman’s lawyer is counting on a swift settlement. Should the doctor or his malpractice insurance company not want to risk an easily swayed or medically unsophisticated jury, that might be a good bet on the lawyer’s part.


    Time will tell, and until then, I offer you the ob/gyn waiting room of the future. Swathed tattoo parlor style with flash of personal-choice insignias for all your surgical needs. Good thing too cause you’ll be here for hours completing the paperwork before the final escrow-esque signing and initialling of the ream of consent forms prior to ever meeting a doctor.